Getting to know the grind and hustle culture
After a whole life of mediocrity, poor performance, bad grades, bad behaviour, and lack of purpose, I decided to move to Canada and start a new life.
From 2016 to 2017 was pretty much the same... fun. However, in 2018 everything started to change.
I decided to transform my life.
I started listening to audios about the grind and the hustle, and I followed them. I was waking up at 5 a.m., going to the gym, studying, working, studying more, eating, then studying and working again. I did that for years.
The audios also said you should ignore people, family, friends, everyone, for 10 years until you achieve all your goals and dreams. And, of course, I did that too.
Years later, my wife, who was my girlfriend back then, told me about all the pain I caused her while I was hustling. Every time she tells me, I can’t help but cry.
She always says she just wanted to spend some time with me. She would cook dinner and serve it, and I would either ask to eat at my desk, or I would sit with her but only be there physically. My mind was somewhere else.
I ignored calls from friends and even from my mom because everyone and everything felt like a distraction. I lost friends. I became distant from my partner and disconnected from my family.
I also lost both of my grandparents, the two people who raised me and who I loved most, during those years of grinding. That still affects me today.
The biggest problem about the grind?
The problem was that it worked.
After four years of hard work, I finally got the job I wanted. In 2022, one week after my birthday, I got a job that paid me a salary instead of an hourly rate.
It felt great. I was extremely happy.
But I was still working hard. I didn’t slow down. I had the job and the money, but I wanted to prove myself, so I kept learning, studying, and working for another two years.
At some point, the crazy idea of starting a business came into my mind, and I started to believe I could do it. I could have my own business.
That made me even more excited. I still ignored my friends, hung out as little as possible, and focused on making more money and building the business.
After about a year, I got a raise and was close to the $100,000 salary I had dreamed about.
But then something weird happened.
I realized I didn’t have many people around me to celebrate with, or even to spend the money with. I felt distant from my wife, almost like I didn’t know her well. No shit, I had ignored her for years.
I started feeling frustrated with life and work, and I complained much more than usual. My chest felt tight. I was moving my shoulders like crazy. My face was always tense, and I had constant stomach discomfort.
Something was off, and I was starting to worry.
Nobody tells you what the grind does to you
The signs were probably there for a long time, but I kept working through them. I was still getting things done, so I assumed I was fine. Then they became impossible to ignore.
My body felt wrong almost every day:
- My chest was constantly tight.
- I kept moving my shoulders over and over.
- I would squeeze my eyes shut and tighten my face.
- My neck, head, and shoulders hurt.
- I had constant stomach discomfort.
- I wasn’t sleeping properly.
- I had less energy and could not focus for long.
- I developed movements and tics that started to scare me.
The weirdest part was that I could not explain any of it. I did not connect it to the years of pressure, poor sleep, isolation, and working without stopping. I thought this was just how my body was now.
I kept pushing until I couldn’t pretend anymore. My patience was gone. Everything bothered me. I struggled to concentrate, and getting basic work done took more effort than it used to.
The thing is that nobody had warned me about this part of the grind. They told me what I might gain if I kept going. Nobody told me what years of never coming down could do to my body while I was still functioning.
Starting my business should have felt like freedom
Starting my business should have felt like freedom, but within weeks, I was struggling to do the work I had always wanted.
By that point, my patience was gone, and I had lost any love for my job. I kept thinking, why am I working this hard for somebody else? I knew marketing. I believed I could build something of my own. So I said, fuck it, and quit.
At first, I was excited... I had my own marketing agency. Then, after two or three weeks, something changed. I did not like the videos I was recording. I did not like the content, the ideas, or anything I was making. Tasks that should have taken days took weeks because I kept overthinking everything.
I still got a few clients. I made some money. From the outside, I was doing fine for someone who had just started.
But inside, I felt empty. I had no motivation, no excitement, and barely enough energy to finish the work. Reading felt painful. Learning felt painful. Everything I used to enjoy felt like another task I had to force myself through.
That scared me because marketing was something I had always loved. Building a company had been the goal pushing me forward for years. I thought reaching it would bring me back to life.
Instead, I reached it and felt nothing.
I still got a few clients. I made some money. From the outside, I was doing fine for someone who had just started.
But inside, I felt empty. I had no motivation, no excitement, and barely enough energy to finish the work. Reading felt painful. Learning felt painful. Everything I used to enjoy felt like another task I had to force myself through.
That scared me because marketing was something I had always loved. Building a company had been the goal pushing me forward for years. I thought reaching it would bring me back to life.
Instead, I reached it and felt nothing.
Losing purpose
I thought I had lost my purpose because the goal that had driven me for years no longer made me feel anything.
For a long time, I had a clear picture in my head. I would learn marketing, make more money, start a company, and build something of my own. I believed in that future so much that I ignored almost everything else to reach it.
Then I reached it, and the person who had wanted it so badly was nowhere to be found.
The things that used to move me had changed:
- Reading felt like work.
- Learning felt painful.
- Getting content done was exhausting.
- Every task took more energy than I had.
I was not studying anymore. I was not excited about new ideas. I could barely finish the work in front of me without overthinking every decision.
That was hard to understand because I had always been certain about where I was going. Even when life was difficult, I had the vision. I had the fire. I believed things would work out because I knew how hard I was willing to work.
Now I had the company, some clients, and more experience than ever, but I felt completely disconnected from all of it.
I started wondering whether I had been wrong about myself. Maybe I did not love marketing anymore. Maybe I was not built to run a business. Maybe the thing I had spent years chasing was never what I wanted.
I did not understand that I was trying to answer questions about my purpose while I was already drained.
A time for realization
After about a year of trying to make the company work, another company reached out. I was not making the money I wanted, so I took the job and got pulled into another cycle of crap.
I entered that company already drained. I had no clarity, barely any energy, and no confidence about where my life was going. Then I found myself working alone every day, without clear goals, mentorship, support, or executives who gave a shit about the people working for them.
After a few months, I knew it was not for me. The job was temporary money, something to get me through the financial instability I was dealing with.
The strange part was that I learned I still loved marketing. Even while trying to run a whole department for people who did not care about me, I still enjoyed the campaigns and the work itself.
That mattered because it showed me I had not lost everything.
However, every day, I wished I was somewhere else. I wanted support, kindness, encouragement, anything that made me feel like a person instead of someone there to serve a group of careless, egocentric executives.
Once I accepted that the job was not my future, I stopped giving it more than it deserved. I still worked decently, and I started getting positive results for the company, but my mind was already gone.
I stayed, made the money I could, and let the experience show me what I never wanted again.
Eight months later, I got laid off.
Best day of my life.
The beginning of "the pause"
I had used essential oil roll-ons for years because I liked the scents. I did not think much about them. I would smell one, close my eyes, breathe, and stop working for a moment.
During the final months at that last job, I started doing it more often. I was no longer trying to prove anything to the company, so I gave myself permission to step away.
Those pauses started helping me:
- Breathe without rushing into another task.
- Stop comparing myself with coworkers.
- Get out of the loop of complaining about my life.
- Think about my purpose and what I wanted next.
- Take a walk or spend time with my wife.
- Notice what I still appreciated.
Sometimes I danced. Sometimes I smiled. Sometimes I did nothing except breathe and smell the oil.
None of it looked important from the outside, but I started noticing changes. My chest felt less tense. My face relaxed more. I moved my shoulders less.
I was not suddenly recovered, and I am still working through a lot of it, but I felt better than I had in a long time.
The scent became the interruption that gave me a reason to pause before my next decision. It gave me time to breathe and reconnect with myself, my wife, my purpose, and my health.
How aoora came to life
I was told to wake up earlier, work harder, ignore distractions, and sacrifice now so I could live later. I followed that advice for years. I got the job, the salary, the raise, and the chance to build something of my own.
Nobody told me what the fucking careless grind could take while I was busy proving that it worked.
Nobody told me to reconnect with the reason I started.
I wanted a better life, but I became so focused on building it that I stopped being present for the life I already had.
That is the part I understand now.
The pause is not about quitting, becoming less ambitious, or walking away from what you want. I still want to build. I still want to grow. I still have big plans for my life.
I just do not want to lose myself again while chasing them.
Here is what I would tell you now:
- Pause before the call.
- Pause before the meeting.
- Pause before you answer the person you love.
- Pause before your next decision.
- Breathe.
- Notice what's happening.
- Remember why you are doing all of this.
Then keep building.
That is why I started aoora.
Sebastian Sepulveda I’m Sebastian, the founder of aoora. I built this company after years of pushing too hard, burning out, and losing connection with myself and the people I love. Now I’m focused on helping and encouraging people to pause, be present, and keep building without losing their lives along the way.
